How do i know if im dating a loser


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taylor.evolt.org/niwej-dating-app.php It sounds as if he wanted a way out, or perhaps his ex had given him an ultimatum. Either way, you're better off without him. Move on and find someone who is more deserving of your love. So I started talking to a boy in school. We are coming to the end of the term. We seem very close. I told him that I liked him, and he blushed. He takes my pencil and won't give it back until I shake his hand; but most of the time, it's more like holding hands because he holds on and won't let go. Do you think he has any interest in me? It sounds as if you are at the beginning of a long life journey that will bring you both pleasure and pain.

Perhaps this boy thinks of you as a friend, or maybe as a girlfriend. I honestly cannot tell. The best advice I can give you is to enjoy the attention, but don't let it detract from your studies. Believe me, in ten years time, you won't even remember these events, but your exam results will stay with you for the rest of your life.

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There is nothing wrong with enjoying the first throes of young love. However, you must stay focused and prioritize what your long-term goals are. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I have to give my take. Read about sociopath, psychopath, narcissistic personalities and what victims of these munipulating non-human beings do to a person psychologically, emotionally, financially, spiritually. I am a counselor and was almost driven to shoot myself. This monster deliberately tried to give me hiv all the while playing on my empathy and love for him, while telling me it was all my fault.

It was impossible to tell the the truth from fiction, I questioned my sanity through out. The worst and most eye opening experience of my life. Please, stop insinuating to victims that it is part their fault for being deceived and manipulated. It is a very painful ordeal and personally I felt like the stupidest person on earth, and got attacked and blamed by his realm of friends and family who are also being manipulated and lied to and don't have a clue.

Those statements of blaming someone who has done no wrong and is going through such a moment of questioning their self worth and devastation cam mean the difference between life or death. I have so many clients I run into who thank me for helping them, can you imagine if a monster like this had gotten his way only to replace good deeds with his evil intent. I had no idea such evil people existed in real life.

Look up the symptoms of a sociopaths victims, then you will have a small minute glympse of the torment a person was blindly led into. Like the lobster, being put in the pan before it is heated doesn't realize it is being cooked to death to be feasted upon. There was a time in years past that elderly family members had much to say about their young people's choices of mates.

Then, more young people listened to them. Now, young people mostly make their own decisions about a mate and marriage without consulting their fathers, mothers and grandparents. It is true that we are responsible for our own happiness, but that includes being responsible and sensible enough to listen to wisdom and people who love us and have always looked out for us when we could not help ourselves. A good, loving father or brother is usually able to assess the reliability of a daughter's chosen partner.

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The one thing we do agree on DashingScorpio is that we are all ultimately responsible for our own happiness. The point I was trying to get across is that sometimes it is easier for someone on the "outside" to gain a better perspective of situations than someone who is entangled in the middle of it. You offer some excellent points in this hub.

However I would have to slightly disagree with you about the problem not being "you" in the article. I realize we live in an era where everyone wants to point the finger at someone else or anything else when it comes to dealing with issues. The truth is each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. There is no getting around that one. If I go to the grocery store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead Do I curse the onion for not being an apple?

I have to learn to become a better "shopper"! You are responsible for your own happiness. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: C L Grant more. However, the warning signs are easy to spot.

The question is, will you choose to act upon them? He Blows Hot and Cold He loves me, he loves me not. He is unfaithful to you. He asks to borrow money off you. He fails to turn up for a date. All of the above. They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal. But as he began to isolate and abuse her, they became unanimous in their dislike of him. In the end, they all saw the relationship as seriously damaging for Stacy.

They say that the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. There may be exceptions to this general principle. Fortunately, some people can improve their character and behavior with genuine and consistent effort. A psychopath can never be one of those exceptions, however. Stacy knew enough about how Drew treated his previous wife to see that he was a philanderer and potentially dangerous. But the intensity and perseverance with which he pursued her blinded her from seeing the same warning signals in their relationship.

This also sends out some glaring warning signals. However, during that time the Loser has not forgotten how he or she basically feels about the opposite sex. Waitresses, clerks, or other neutral individuals will be treated badly. When people are useful to them they treat them superficially well.

AM I DATING A LOSER?

By way of contrast, genuinely nice people treat others well regardless of their perceived utility. Psychopaths tend to have polarized reputations. The Hyde side represents his true identity, which becomes increasingly dominant over time. To his buddies, Drew Peterson appeared to be an easy-going, nice guy. To his wives and their families— which is to say, to anyone who had extensive intimate contact with him—Drew exposed another, much more menacing side of his personality. Any sign of independence from his partners meant escaping his control: The Loser may have two distinct reputations—a group of individuals who will give you glowing reports and a group that will warn you that they are serious trouble.

7 Warning Signs That You Are Dating a Loser | PairedLife

Pay close attention to how your partner treats you over time and in different circumstances. Be particularly attuned to how he responds when you express different needs or opinions. Although some psychopaths may consistently maintain the mask of charm in superficial interactions with their buddies, colleagues and acquaintances, their real controlling, selfish and aggressive natures tend to show through in extended intimate contact.

During the course of their marriages to Drew Peterson, at least two of his wives reported losing their self-confidence as a result of his emotional and physical abuse. While they both entered the relationship with Drew feeling desirable, in love and valued, by the end they were overpowered and intimidated by him. When involved with a psychopath, over time, his partner finds herself walking on eggshells. She fears that anything she does or says might trigger his emotional detachment, hostility or abuse.

For psychopaths, their fundamental callousness and capacity for evil stems from their absolute selfishness and inability to respect other individuals, as fellow human beings with independent needs and desires. They lack genuine consideration for others.

They Make You Crazy. According to her friends, Kathy Savio felt overcome by rage, jealousy and anger when Drew cheated on her with Stacy. Sometimes, psychopaths quite literally drive their partners crazy. They lie to them to the point where they start doubting their knowledge of reality. They discourage and belittle them to the point where they lose their self-confidence and become reclusive. Rest assured that your behavior will return to normal if you detach from the Loser before permanent psychological damage is done.

What do these warning signs indicate? They show that psychopathic seducers can fake decency and love convincingly in the beginning of a relationship. As psychotherapist Steve Becker indicates on his website, powercommunicating. They just minimized those red flags or downright ignored them. They preferred to focus on their romantic fantasies rather than face an unpleasant reality. They may have even felt troubled by them.

But in their intense need to want the relationship, and the partner, to be the elusive fit they so hungrily sought, they found ways to suppress their uneasiness: If you encounter a man who is aroused primarily by the circumstances surrounding your relationship—especially the perverse and forbidden ones—rather than by you, yourself, run.

If you encounter a man who does a bait and switch to gain your trust only to violate his promises or raise the bar higher and higher, run. Truth is not a convenient fiction. Similarly, love is not a power game for anyone capable of this emotion.

Are You Dating a “Loser”?

Or, better yet, refuse to engage with him at all. Any intimate relationship with a psychopath is a gamble where you risk losing everything and from which you have nothing to gain. How to Identify and Escape from Psychopathic Seduction. April 1, Categories: You become paranoid as well — being careful what you wear and say.

Nonviolent males find themselves in physical fights with female losers. Nonviolent females find themselves yelling and screaming when they can no longer take the verbal abuse or intimidation. In emotional and physical self-defense, we behave differently and oddly. If you are involved in a relationship with one of these versions, you may require professional and legal assistance to save yourself. Physical Abuser Physical abusers begin the relationship with physical moving — shoving, pushing, forcing, etc.

Getting away from physical abusers often requires the assistance of family, law enforcement agencies, or local abuse agencies. Female losers often physically attack their partner, break car windows, or behave with such violence that the male partner is forced to physically protect himself from the assault.

They may fake terminal illness, pregnancy, or disease. If you try to end the relationship, they react violently and give you the impression that you, your friends, or your family are in serious danger.

1. He Tells You That He Loves You Far Too Quickly

People often then remain in the abusive and controlling relationship due to fear of harm to their family or their reputation. Psychotic or psychiatrically ill losers may also stalk, follow, or harass you. They may threaten physical violence, show weapons, or threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave them. If you try to date others, they may follow you or threaten your new date. Your new date may be subjected to phone harassment, vandalism, threats, and even physical assaults.

You may need help and legal action to separate from these individuals. During the detachment phase you should…. Observe the way you are treated. Gradually become more boring, talk less, share less feelings and opinions. Quietly contact your family and supportive others. Determine what help they might be — a place to stay, protection, financial help, etc.

If you fear violence or abuse, check local legal or law enforcement options such as a restraining order. Stop arguing, debating or discussing issues. Begin dropping hints that you are depressed, burned out, or confused about life in general. That will only complicate your situation and increase the anger. This sets the foundation for the ending of the relationship.

Explain that you are emotionally numb, confused, and burned out. React to each in the same manner — a boring thanks. Focus on your need for time away from the situation. You will be wasting your time trying to make them understand and they will see the discussions as an opportunity to make you feel more guilty and manipulate you.

While anyone can change for a short period of time, they always return to their normal behavior once the crisis is over. Seek professional counseling for yourself or the support of others during this time. You will need encouragement and guidance. Imagine a dead slot machine. If we are in Las Vegas at a slot machine and pull the handle ten times and nothing happens — we move on to another machine.

However, if on the tenth time the slot machine pays us even a little, we keep pulling the handle — thinking the jackpot is on the way. Never change your position — always say the same thing. During the Follow-up Protection period, some guidelines are:.

Are you Dating a Loser Hint #1 He Wants You To Take Care Of Him

If you fear violence or abuse, check local legal or law enforcement options such as a restraining order. Psychopaths tend to put down their partners not only in private, but also publicly, to embarrass and isolate them. This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. He never hit them, even if Kathy had to go to the emergency room to recover from his blows. When your nearest and dearest tells you that they do not like the person that you are dating, you really need to view this as a red flag.