here The older men get, the younger the women they message relative to their own age. Women, on the other hand, message and respond most often to men about their own age.
Once they reach 35, women actually respond more often to younger guys. But because men are usually the conversation starters, the older-man-younger-woman paradigm prevails. Alright, so maybe OkCupid en masse follows dating age conventions, but what about those women who want to flip the norm on its head? How difficult is it for them to date a younger man?
What I found was kind of surprising. When men message women, women tend to respond most often to men around their own ages.
A year-old woman will have better luck messaging a year-old man than a year-old one, according to the data. And a year-old man is more likely to respond to a message from a year-old woman than a message from any other age group. When women make the first move, the age gap dating norm is reversed.
I asked my friend Trevor, a year-old mathematician, what he made of it.
They have more interesting jobs and hobbies, and their profiles are just better … no stupid selfie-only profiles. Did that explain it? Across all ages, straight women write shorter profiles than straight men. And then there are those year-old women who really clean up with the year-old dudes. Cindy has been dating men in their 20s for the past 15 years.
Working in tech, she sometimes feels she has more in common with somethings than older men. In other words, does the creepiness rule actually reflect what society finds…creepy?
The internet is divided on the topic. The researchers approached random people in public and asked them to imagine themselves in a romantic relationship with an attractive person of the opposite sex. So I decided to find the answers myself. I tackled this paradigm-shifting research the only way I knew how: I created a survey.
Although I could have hit the streets of New York and surveyed people in-person Buunk style, I decided to mTurk my survey. I try to avoid as much social interaction in my daily life as possible.
This can vary from transcribing a movie, to identifying an item on a receipt, to taking a survey about hypothetical romantic relationships. Within a few days I got responses: As John and Lauren got older, however, the creepiness rule differed from how people actually responded. Yet according to the survey, 37 was well outside the age range of what is socially acceptable. The results also showed that the creepiness rule is too restrictive about how old you can date when you are young, but becomes too lenient as you get older.
Yet, people surveyed were fine with John and Lauren seeing someone in their early 30's. When John and Lauren are 60, the creepiness rule allows them to date anyone older than themselves the official cap is However, society places more restrictive age limits of 71 and 75 respectively. Overall, the creepiness rule does not accurately represent what people find socially acceptable; people are more judgmental than what the creepiness rule implies. If the creepiness rule is wrong, then I needed a new rule to guide my non-existent love life.
Anonymous, 32 (actively dating). “When I was in my 20s, I was drawn to older women because it gave me a certain level of confidence because. My friend started dating a 31 yo woman at age 21 and married her a year later. This was I don't think a 22 year old male is called a boy, I think it's called a man.
As I reviewed the data, I realized that one rule was not enough. When it comes to dating older, women have the advantage. According to the survey, a 20 year-old John can date someone who is